


gone and back again

by Oragami



Series: Drafts [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-24 10:44:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15629025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oragami/pseuds/Oragami
Summary: I write a bit of this off the top of my head in a Sabriel group in facebook, and was asked to write more. This covers the events of the series from the premiere to just before Hammer of the Gods. Written off the top of my head with no access to Talk Tales/Changing Channels/Mystery Spot episodes so mistakes are possible.





	1. before Hammer of the gods

Sam knew he had a soulmate out there somewhere. He just thought that with all the travelling around the country him and Dean did, he wouldn’t find them. Jess had understood that they weren’t each other’s soulmate, and that if they did meet them, they would wish the other well and let them be with their mate. But with the fire, Jess never got to meet hers, wherever they were. 

Every so often Sam met someone who he had a bit of a spark with, but not that connection that he knew soulmates had. And even if he met them, what could he say about what he did for a living? Unless his mate was a hunter, most people would think he was crazy when he would tell them he killed demons and monsters.

So when him and Dean had stopped at a college to see if there was anything real about the alien abduction theyd heard about, he didn’t expect to find his mate in the janitor that showed them around. He froze, wanting to reach out to the man he’d been waiting for ever since he was old enough to understand what soul mates were. But with Dean there, and their case not yet solved he couldn’t. 

When they found out his mate was the Trickster that they had been looking for, Sam did t want to believe it. How could his mate be a monster they were supposed to kill? Sam couldn’t bring himself to stab him in the chest, making Dean do it instead. Even without their bond being completed, it hurt Sam more than he thought it would. 

He did his best to keep things normal (normal for them anyway) but every once in a while he slipped up. One night he was drunk off his ass (a rare thing) and mumbled out loud “I should have saved him.” Dean assumed he meant some innocent they hadnt managed to save, and didn’t bother him after that. Dean could tell that something was off with Sam on occassion, but he couldn’t put a finger on it. 

For a while things were ok, despite knowing that Dean would be going to he’ll in a few months. They worked the cases that came their way, and spent time doing 'brotherly things', knowing (at that time) it would be their last chance.

When it came to Mystery Spot, and seeing Dean due over and over again, it nearly drove Sam mad. Each day seeing his brother die In a new way, and trying to find out how to stop it took up all his time. After what must have been a month of reruns, he saw a change that made him think that this could be over soon. 

It was the Trickster again- his mate was responsible for all the pain Sam had been out through. When he had him against the dumpster, He was torn between killing the thing that kept killing his brother over and over, or letting his mate free. Before he could make the choice, he was back in his motel bed, the sound of Heat of the Moment and Dean saying “Rise and shine Sammy!” waking him. 

When all was said and done, Sam partially understood what the Trickster-his mate- had been trying to tell him. His brother would die soon, and Sam had to live his life after that.   
\----  
Sometimes Sam would pray to a God he wasn’t sure really existed anymore, asking Him that his mate would someday be there with him, and be able to share his life- either in the road or settled down somwhere, maybe helping Bobby or other hunters. 

It was after their adventures in TV land when Sam finally learned his mates name- Gabriel. His soulmate was an archangel? After Dean and Castiel left the warehouse where Gabriel was trapped in a ring of holy fire, Sam stayed behind.  
“How long have you known?” Sam asked, turning to face Gabriel.  
“How long have I known what Sam?” Gabriel asked, trying to wipe some of the water falling in him out of his eyes.  
Gabriel couldn’t be this stupid. “How long have you known I was your soulmate?”   
It looked like Gabriel was pretending to think. “I’d say for a while before time even existed. Not too long after I realized I even existed.” He finally admitted.  
Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Then why…everything since we first met?” Sam asked, waving a hand in the air. “Why out me through everything that you out me through, and not….”  
“And not what Sam? As much as I hated to do it, what I put you through was what needed to happen.” The look on Gabriel face changed from one of of mild annoyance to One of hurt.   
Sam looked up at the ceiling for a moment before his gaze settled back on Gabriel. “I… Gabriel… I’ve waited for my soulmate for my whole life. I saw my brother meet his, seen the way they act when they’re together. I wanted that for myself.”  
Gabriel nodded. “I know. I know I don’t deserve someone like you after everything I’ve done. But maybe one day…I hope you would at least want to be froends, even if you didn’t want to be my mate.”  
Sam nearly turned and walked away. “Gabe…” Sam paused before speaking again. “I do want that. To be your mate, to feel the same bond that Dean and Castiel have between them. But It may take me a while to forgive you for what you did to me. I won’t forget it though.”  
“That’s all I can ask Sam. If it takes until the end of my own life, I’ll make it up to you.” Gabriel reached out a hand in Sam’s direction, letting it fall. 

With the holy fire still burning (though close to its way to being out enough for Gabriel to be able to leave the circle) they couldn’t touch.

When it finally did, Gabriel moved I til he was standing in front of Sam, a look of hope now on his face. “Can I at least hug you?”

Sam managed a little bit of a smile, opening his arms and pulling his angel close to his body. “I think I can manage that.”

For a while, things were ok. Sam and Gabriel had competed their bond, Gabriel's handprint on Sam’s left hip, and Sam’s bite on the left side of Gabriel's neck. Gabriel helped out with their cases whenever he could, but with the apocalypse still coming he had to leave every now and then. 

To say Dean hadnt been very happy when he found out who Sam’s soulmate was was an understatement. It took several months before he would look at Gabriel with anything but anger. Castiel however was happy that his brother was back, and that he had found his own soulmate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second 'dract' of this part. The other one got lost because the app Im using to type this on my phone kept crashing and I had to Uninstall it and then reinstall it.
> 
> I don't think it approved of what I was typing.

Sam wasn’t sure how he managed to get through with what happened next.

He nearly lost it when he thought Gabriel had been stabbed by Kali. It took a bit to realize his bond was still there which meant Gabriel was still alive. That brought little comfort when he was told to take Kali and get the hell out of there. Sam protested, wanting to stay there with his angel  UT he had Dean draggi g him out of the room. 

They were a few minutes down the road when Sam doubled over in pain, causing Dean to slam on the brakes and Kali to curse from the back seat. 

“Sam? Hey, Sam? “ Sam could hear his brother saying, though he didn’t react to it. All he could feel was the pain as his bond with Gabriel was shredded and torn apart. He had seen this happen to others before but he never expected it to happen to him. His head was pounding, heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and he couldn’t catch his breath. 

“We.. We need to go back. “ Sam managed to say after a few minutes had passed. 

Dean looked between Sam and the direction they had come from. “Are you serious? That’s suicide! “

Sam shook his head, causing the pounding in his head to get worse. “I don’t care. I’ll walk if I have to. “ Though if he did try that, Sam didn’t expect he would make it very far. 

Dean sighed, turning the Impala around and heading back. “Fine, but I’m going in first. You’re in no shape to fight off anyone that might still be there. “

When they pulled back into the parking lot Dean made sure he had the Colt at his waist. He hoped he didn’t need to use it but he would if he needed. 

While Dean was gone, Sam managed to sit back up, his e ire body shaking slightly. Gabriels dead… hes gone.  Sam kept repeating over and over in his head. He wasn’t sure how my how time had passed before he head a knock on the window, scaring him half to death. 

“All clear. “ Dean said as he opened the car door, reaching out to grab Sam’s hand and haul him up. “Place is trashed but there’s Noone in there. “ Alive anyway Dean thought to himself. 

Getting to the room he had last seen Gabriel in was slow going. They stopped outside the closed doors to the room, Dean turning to face Sam. “Are you sure you want to go in there? It’s… “ Dean wasn’t quite sure what to say next. He couldn’t imagine how he would be feeling if he was in Sams place, and saw Castiel on the ground with the imprint of burnt wings beneath him.

Sam nodded. “I owe it to him Dean.” Berea he’d out a hand and grabbed onto the door handle. “Just.. Wait out here for.me?”

“Alright, just let me know if you… need anything? “ Dean stepped aside ready to wait there as long as he needed to. 

Sam took a steadying breath before he pushed the doors open. He knew that he was going to see Gabriel dead, wings burnt o to whatever surface he was up against. But actually seeing him like that was an entirely different thing. 

He made his way slowly over to the side of his dead soul mate, gathering his body up and holding him to his chest. For a while he didn’t say anything, just the sound of him crying and breathing filling the room. 

“Gabe…” Sam paused and wiped the tears from his face. “You promised you would never hurt me. What do you think you did here?” Sam looked into Gabriel’s eyes, usually full of life but now glazed over in death. “What the hell am I going to do now?” 

After a few more minutes Sam moved to stand up, Gabriel’s body still in his arms. There was no way he was going to leave him behind. He was a Winchester, and he was going to get a proper send off. 

When Sam stepped through the doorway Dean looked up from where has staring at his phone. “We need to get to Bobby’s.” It was the closest thing they had had to home since they left Lawrence, and it made sense to go there. It would take a while to get there, but they’d gone farther without stopping for sleep. 

Sam shook his head at Dean’s offer of help, but that did t stop his brother from sticking close to his side just in case. 

By the time they were back out by the Impala, Kali was gone, which was good. With some maneuvering, Sam managed to get I to the back seat still holding Gabriel. Until they made it to Bobby’s and were able to burn his vessel, he wouldn’t let go. 

-*-*-‘-*-*-*-*-*

Sam slept off and on, not really noticing the passage of time. For a a few moments he would think Gabriel was still alive, and they had just cuddled up next to each other in the back seat while Sam got some sleep. When it hit him that his soul mate was really dead, and not just pretending to be asleep made Sam start crying again before he drifted off to sleep again some time later. 

The last time Sam woke up he heard faint voices coming from the direction of what must have been what passed as Bobby’s front yard, judging by the small cleared area and the junked cars he could see out the windows. 

Sam carefully maneuvered Gabriel’s body so he could stretch out a bit, which wasn’t an easy task as tall as he was. Dean had apparently seen Sam start to move around, because the voices stopped and the back door opened. “Well… Were here. “ Dean reached out a hand, offerimg to help which Sam took this time, otherwise he would have likely fallen over.

Sam blinked his eyes a few times to clear the sleep from them, and the next thing he knew he was caught in a bone crushing hug by the man he loved as a father. “Im sorry Sam. “ Bobby said. He was one of the few people Sam knew that had lost their soul ate, and both times it was because of things that most people didn’t think existed. If Bobby could survive losing Karen, he could make it without Gabriel

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We ever I get done writing a particular part (, even if it's not a 'proper starting point t' Im going to post it as a new chapter. I'll eventually get around to editing it properly.


End file.
